Winning, Losing and Scorekeeping

Is it possible to focus too much on winning games in youth soccer? Well, we all know the answer to that. There have been countless, jokes, stories and even movies decrying the win-at -all-costs parent or coach who runs roughshod over any kid or referee who gets between them and the next "W". And it's true that the stereotype is rooted in truth. We've all known the soccer dad or mom who will do or say anything to motivate their child, get them on the "right" team, and persuade the ref to make all the calls go their way.

Hence soccer associations all over the country have taken steps to downplay the winning vs. losing aspect of the game. In many cases, scores are not kept or if the score is kept, it's done close to the vest by the referee and the results are not published anywhere.

The good side of this is that it tends to take pressure off of very young kids and allows them to focus on development. In trying to develop young players, it's easy to allow winning and losing to dominate the conversation. Short term focusing on winning can lead to the sacrifice of the long term goal of player development. In may cases, the pressure to win can be unbearable and often leads kids to burn out on the game at a very young age.

But make no mistake, there is a down side to not focusing on the scoring of games as well. By taking away the team goal of winning a game, the only thing that's left you ask is, "How many goals did you score?" Outside of the context of team success, it's difficult to evaluate what success really is. And why should a player sacrifice personal glory if there is no greater purpose to playing the game.

I found it interesting that last Saturday, my players who were on the bench were constantly talking about the score. I usually don't keep up with it. I just want our team to focus on playing well. But for kids who are out there making defensive plays and doing the little unnoticed things it takes for a team to be successful, it matters a whole lot. They want to know that their sacrifices of personal glory and playing time are really worth it. If it means that their team wins, then it's worth it to them.

So why do we take away the lessons of personal sacrifice to achieve a greater good. We as parents have apparently decided that the over competitiveness that we experience with score keeping is just not worth the trouble. We sacrifice winning and losing to give our kids some relief from the pressures of the game that we have created. But whether we realize it or not, we are sacrificing many good lessons that the game can teach. Our kids are thirsting for balance, not imbalance toward non competitiveness. They are in essence pay in a price for a problem that they themselves did not create.